So if you haven't guessed by the title, you can tell that I didn't like the movie Haywire and with good reason. This movie is by far the worst, awful, shitty, and-and- I can't even think of any other words that can possibly describe how bad this movie is. I rather have an iguana lick my balls while someone rubs my face with sandpaper. Even though that does sound painful, at least that visual sounds exciting! I wanted to leave to badly but I stayed because I wasn't sure if my dad and brother were enjoying the film. This film suffered it's predecessor, Contagion. What's that mean? After the first 10 minutes it gets really boring and dull. There were so many quiet moments in the movie. Now there's a major difference between being quiet for dramatic effect and intensity. However, that wasn't the case. Almost all 45% of the movie has moments with only actors on screen and absolutely nothing else can be heard. It was so quiet that I could hear people coughing, a guy unwrapping an Reese Peanut Butter Cup, and the sound of the movie screening beside us beginning. I think it was either Beauty and the Beast or Dragon Tattoo. Hell, either way, hearing that beside us is what only kept me in the theatre. I haven't seen many movies since the start of 2012 but I can say now that this is the worst film I've seen this year. I would rather watch Garbage Pail Kids than watch this movie. No, it needs to be worse than that. I would rather watch Norbit, then Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3, The Room, and any Care Bears movie than watch this again. Haywire is Soderbergh's worst film to date!
JVidz out!
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